MHGO #53 Caught in a Bad Romance

How cupid would usually join/force others to fall in love with each other, I have been sent to do what I do best: blog about (ahem) Valentines Day.

To be honest, this day has never really meant that much to me. It probably might have only got to me today, when I had to help about 400 needy couples. The post text of seeing such behavior is what will be presented.

As I have said or expressed several times, I believe we find solace and answers in the places we last look, and the friends we have neglected. I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to re-connect and affirm my relationship with people whom I have neglected for far too long. (Mot is the gay fad)

I listened to Alice in Chains "Heaven Beside You" for the 78th or so time in my life yesterday. When I was able to have everything else in my head shut up for 5 minutes, I was able to hear the lyrics that were being sung. The amazing lyrics that came out of the lead's mouth were some of the most heartfelt and experienced I have heard. An excerpt:

Like the coldest winter chill, Heaven beside you....Hell within".


I heard these lyrics today like they were fresh and new. I realized I had accepted the problems and challenges of my past and that I was moving through them to a new and better life. I believe that we all in some way live our life this way...Heaven is right beside us, so easy to get. If that is the case...why do we choose the Hell?

MHGO #46 Harry

Wasn't it that movie "When Harry Met Sally" that they were the best of friends but figured that sex would ruin the relationship? I think I am going through the opposite. I think sometimes I fear that being the best person in the world would ruin our relationship. Maybe it is that if I act a certain way he will expect it. Or, conversely if I don't do all the things I am supposed to I can get away with it. I know I have been and am being selfish.

Trust me friends that is a hard thing for a bull nosed man like me to say.

I hope this all goes well. I really do. I have decided today that I no longer wanna be the asshole of the world. It was funny for awhile but now it is wearing thin. I would like to have said that it was me, but I know sometimes it was forced for other peoples laughter, and maybe that is what has caused my partner so much grief.... and that sucks.

-M