MHGO #41 The State of the Hood..

Once upon a time I was young, not as young as you may be reader, buy younger than I would intend you to be when reading this. I live in Chicago with my boyfriend of whom this story effects more than I, but I only have the strength to write.

It starts like this. I remember 3 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember getting yelled at for the same shit I get yelled at for now..No one said the time would fix everything. I remember never worrying that the people in this memory would never be discernible in the future. Why in the world would I think about one of my friends never being there for me or furthermore us? The reason escaped me and I never entertained the matter again.

Later it happened, I was forced to face what I never wanted to do. My friend was too fucked up to wake up to live life, or I was waking him up so me and emergency services knew he was ok. There is a funny thing that happens to you during a two year break up....you fight with all your might to not care....when I say with all my might I truly mean it because we would accept this person at his most low if he had the strength to say he would give up. Alas he does not.....and we are left friendless...and here starts my plea:

Dear Crystal Meth,

Please stop taking my friends from me.......



Marshal

MHGO #009 $50 bucks a pop....literally!

Fake Kim Kardashian stops by for a brief snort,Who wants to fuck me? I only need 90 people, Free the rice queens in Tibet, and my official theme music all on todays My Humble Gay Opinion!





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MHGO #6 I'm afraid I am starting to fade away

So today, rather yesterday, I started my medicine again. No, it is not serious it is just an anti-anxiety-depression thing. I wonder if I am how i was before I got on this medicine. More importantly will it be good for me to be on it.

All these things are going through my head as I sit here. I'm better than a few hours ago but definitly feeling a little funny. My husband says jokingly that I feel "Normal". Maybe he is right. Maybe it is all just anxiety. Thats why I am taking the drug in the first place anyway. I don't been to be existentialist but I was sitting here thinking to myself that maybe the feeling I have is me fading away. The Nine Inch Nails song came to mind of the same name, and it kinda spooked me.

I don't think I have ever been afraid of medication, and I am certainly not now. But I do wonder if what we put in our body takes over and the part or parts of us it wants to control just fade away.

I found this attached to my drug description:


Cymbalta: Black Box Warnings
Suicidality

incr. risk of suicidality in children, adolescents and young adults w/ major depressive or other psychiatric disorders esp. during 1st months of tx w/ antidepressants vs. placebo; weigh risk vs. benefit; in short-term studies of antidepressants vs. placebo, suicidality risk not increased in pts >24 yo, and risk decreased in pts >65 yo; observe all pts for clinical worsening, suicidality, or unusual behavior changes; not approved for pediatric use.

You DON'T need to worry about me.